I'm preparing a presentation for a large conference in my field of study. This conference has ~2500 attendees who each attend various presentations across roughly 16 tracks which means about 150 people per presentation at the conference.
Nerve-racking to think about all the people who could see my presentation.
As I prepare occasionally my mind thinks back several years and I am racked with guilt, embarrassment, and horror each time this thought comes to mind.
I decided to attend a particular track at this conference and in the wind-up stages for the presentation I noticed that the first presenter was Tim--someone I had gone to school with. So I approached Tim and struck up a conversation about his life since leaving school.
As we were talking someone came down from the stand. I noticed that the individual approaching was Paul--someone I recognize from the community and who had produced a pretty cool gadget related to Tim's and my work--and so I brought Paul into the conversation. He graciously showed his gadget but then announced to us that the session was starting.
So I quickly went to my seat while Paul and Tim went to the stand.
Tim then proceeded to give his presentation. Everything was going well and proceeding at a good pace until Paul held up a small time card for Tim.
Tim's face took on a slight bit of panic and he quickened his verbal pace while I realized that our little conversation had eaten in to his allotted time for presenting.
I started to feel really guilty. Tim had been preparing this presentation for weeks and had gotten the cadence down correctly so that he could squeeze the requisite data into the time allotted, and now he was thrown off.
I didn't see Tim again for 4 years, but when I did I immediately thought upon that situation and how I had interfered with his moment to shine. With that thought I promptly got a little pit I my stomach.
Even as I type this post my gut is groaning in conjunction with how I feel. Part of me hopes that Tim will show up at my presentation and sabotage it like I did simply because I feel so strongly that I deserve to be punished for my public failure. He certainly has the right to do that if he wishes.
But if he did, my mind and my intestines would no longer be able to punish me for the rest of eternity...
Nerve-racking to think about all the people who could see my presentation.
As I prepare occasionally my mind thinks back several years and I am racked with guilt, embarrassment, and horror each time this thought comes to mind.
I decided to attend a particular track at this conference and in the wind-up stages for the presentation I noticed that the first presenter was Tim--someone I had gone to school with. So I approached Tim and struck up a conversation about his life since leaving school.
As we were talking someone came down from the stand. I noticed that the individual approaching was Paul--someone I recognize from the community and who had produced a pretty cool gadget related to Tim's and my work--and so I brought Paul into the conversation. He graciously showed his gadget but then announced to us that the session was starting.
So I quickly went to my seat while Paul and Tim went to the stand.
Tim then proceeded to give his presentation. Everything was going well and proceeding at a good pace until Paul held up a small time card for Tim.
Tim's face took on a slight bit of panic and he quickened his verbal pace while I realized that our little conversation had eaten in to his allotted time for presenting.
I started to feel really guilty. Tim had been preparing this presentation for weeks and had gotten the cadence down correctly so that he could squeeze the requisite data into the time allotted, and now he was thrown off.
I didn't see Tim again for 4 years, but when I did I immediately thought upon that situation and how I had interfered with his moment to shine. With that thought I promptly got a little pit I my stomach.
Even as I type this post my gut is groaning in conjunction with how I feel. Part of me hopes that Tim will show up at my presentation and sabotage it like I did simply because I feel so strongly that I deserve to be punished for my public failure. He certainly has the right to do that if he wishes.
But if he did, my mind and my intestines would no longer be able to punish me for the rest of eternity...
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