Adding Insult to Injury

I was having a bad day. I didn't get enough sleep the night before, so I was slow at everything I did. There were too many meetings in the day and not enough useful decisions made. I also did not have enough time to really get anything accomplished.

By the time I got home I was sweaty and exhausted and I couldn't think through my headache to figure out what to make for dinner.

So I did what I usually do when I get home, which is to go upstairs and change out of my work clothes into a t-shirt and shorts. But as I tossed my clothes into the hamper, I saw this:

Ender's Game 2

Driving around town a few months back I noticed a bumper sticker which said

The Enemy's Gate is Down

I turned to my wife and said "That's odd. I wonder what that means. Is the enemy not paying attention to their defenses? Or are they having a tailgate party?"

"That's a quote from 'Ender's Game'," she replied.

"What? I don't remember that at all."

Nuts for Not Hair

By brother-in-law, David, recently participated in a church youth party-planning meeting with some teenagers and a few adult leaders. Someone suggested he invite his good friend, Joe, to the event.

David responded "I'll bring him even if I have to drag him by..." Oh wait--I can't say "hair" because he's bald. "...his not hair!" That's a cute high-school-ly way of putting it.

Two weeks later, someone from that meeting approached David and asked him to clarify his statement about Joe. Apparently this attendee--and several others--heard...