I recently took a trip to Paris France for a conference. I was worried about being able to get around on my own there, but I found that I could manage pretty well. The people were friendly and courteous and helpful.
Learning the subway system was a bit of a challenge. I was trying to get from the Arch de Triumph to Charles de Gaulle airport via the subway, so I talked with the attendant in the information booth. He told me what to purchase and pointed me at the ATMs next to the booth. So I went over to try and figure the software out.
As I was waiting for an ATM, an English-speaking couple were at the neighboring ATM trying to figure it out and a 14-year-old in street clothes came up to assist them.
He made me nervous. He was too friendly and not dressed like the people in the information booth, and he did not look like he was trying to get to a particular destination himself.
I got to the other ATM and started making my way through the menus. For people who have never ridden Paris' subway those machines are difficult to understand. I have no idea which "zones" I am supposed to get so that I can travel to my destination. An interactive map with the zones clearly laid out would be extremely helpful. Instead, they just have the numbered zones.
Part-way through the process the 14-year-old popped up next to me. He noticed that I spoke English, was having trouble with the machine, and he sort of elbowed his way in to assist me with the software. At which point I begin to clutch my wallet.
When the screen prompted for payment, my card was declined.
I wanted to get out of here as quickly as possible and now the machine is acting flaky? I needed to get to the Airport as soon as possible so that I could pickup my wife, and I wanted to make sure I had my wallet when I got there.
He cancelled my purchase and quickly ran through the screens in French and tried to get me to pay the fee. I declined, and bolted over to the information booth, rather rudely.
At the information booth I quickly stated "The machine isn't accepting my card. Can I buy a ticket from you?" probably with some panic in my voice. He brought up the tickets, took my card, and I was finally able to get the tickets I needed to go out to the airport. At which point, with my head down, I mumbled "thanks" and bolted for the turnstiles.
I got to the airport about 45 minutes later and met my wife, and then we headed back to the hotel via taxi.
Back at the hotel my wife brought out her guide book: Rick Steves' Paris and read me the quick-start passages near the beginning of that book. These passages proceeded to instruct me on the French value system--they value enjoying and taking time to bask in the pleasures of life--including how to properly conduct transactions. Liberal usage of pleasantry phrases will get you much better results: "Bonjour, madame/monsieur," "Merci," and "Parlez-vous l'anglais" (although people may decline to speak English, they often can understand more than they claim). Also, the French start counting with their thumbs not their index finger, so using your index finger to indicate one may actually get you two of that item.
As my wife read me these passages, I began to think back on the few days I had spent in Paris and all the interactions I had had with its citizens. Then I thought about how rude I must have been to all these pleasant people. And then my stomach began to churn as I thought about how short and gruff I had likely been with the very helpful, but obviously annoyed-at-me, information booth attendant. Not the 14-year-old, mind you; I still think I was right to be a little rude even though he was acting quite helpful.
For the rest of the trip I regularly felt the urge to go back to that particular stop and just say "Merci Monsieur." The same with every other single place I had been to in Paris. In fact, I still feel bad and almost want to just catch a flight to go back and do just that.
But that would be overreacting. And that guy probably doesn't remember me anyway, and would he even be there when I came back through. Besides which, he probably chalked me up to be yet another rude American.
At least I learned from my mistakes and rarely repeated them while in Paris.
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